From a previous post...
" Did those first lines grab your interest?
Did you want to see what happened next? "
Hannah said: ...And yes, I am interested in what happens next, because I think it would be funny.
Sarah answered: I really liked the lines you put at the beginning. They were funny, and I did want to know what would happen next.
That's it. That's what I wanted. I wanted to grab the reader's interest, and keep it. In those moments in stories, you want your reader to want to know more. If they start out interested but later get bored, then you aren't doing a good enough job keeping the story suspenseful. I want to be a reader that can't wait to turn the page and finds out what happens next. Not because every single chapter ends with the hero's life in danger, but because it's a good story. I want my interest to be kept.
Well, sometimes you may ask, how do I do this?
One problem-solver: stop writing and start reading. Find something with a part similar to the one you're currently trying to write and read it. Figure out what's keeping you reading it, and what isn't.
Everything makes sense in your head. You're the one writing, you're probably interested in your story.
So that's probably why you don't realize that not everything makes sense to the reader.
Of course, these are my own personal opinions. I'm not trying to force my opinion at you. ;)
So. Next month on February 14th is the end of my short story contest.
I'm excited to see what everyone's come up with! Also, you can send it anytime you want between now and the 14th, just so you know! (please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org whenever you want)
Savo'lass a lalaith,